Clearly I was mad
Very angry till I cried
I sealed my mouth tight
Trying hard to stay composed
Though I was burning inside.
Silently I prayed and wiped my tears
Swallowed my anger to avoid danger.
I could not let this outrage burst
Else, many might get hurt
(That was weak of me)
Pic : one of my painting ; acrylic on paper (blue series)
It seemed normal to reassure someone to be “strong” and “patient” in the face of adversity. Unfortunately, at times, those words caused even more pain.
-Idayu Maarof; The Doctor is Sick (2016)
Available The Doctor is Sick @ MPH Online Store
Numbers popping on the screen
And names called one after another
On their feet, on wheelchairs and walking sticks
They are patients waiting to be seen.
Here I am, sitting among them
Feeling great that my pain is gradually disappearing
And my life is slowly getting back in place.
I can only pray for every face that I see around me today
Be granted patience and strength
And the recovery they are after will eventually be theirs
*I am grateful to be here with these people, who know that giving up is never an option*
Today, Neurosurgery clinic; 830am #2months after.
First my heart
Then my brain
It was hard to digest
Even harder to make decision
Pic : painted a few weeks before the surgery.
Don’t push yourself too hard. Take it slow… give yourself time to recover – I kept telling myself.
(It was not easy when you are in so much pain)
Photo : sketch from my 1 drawing 1 day dated 260216
Hope, Love and Patience
Are here with me at all times
Don’t have to count 1 2 3
Don’t have to call for them to come
I can feel their presence even if I could not see
That’s the gift He is giving me
To help me through with this journey
Knowing that He is always there
Guiding me in every step I have to take
Giving me back my smile
So I could share with the love of my life
His voice echoed in my ears
“Nothing will last forever
Till then we should stay together
And filled our lives with laughters
We love each other, that is what matter”
He wiped my tears and looked straight into my eyes; “I don’t want us separated”
It was painful just to remember that evening
When those words came from him
“Let us hug each other…four of us
This way we will be stronger”
And we burst into tears again
Photo : time flies, he is now one fine gentleman. Blessed.