Tears welled up in my eyes as I crossed the road, hand in hand with both my superheroes. I did not realize how I really felt until we reached the other side of the busy road. I had never thought that simple action of crossing a road among the crowd would bring me so much joy. Who would have thought walking in the street with two boys can be something special, something to celebrate and to remember… I was emotional. It wasn’t that I had not done it before… perhaps I didn’t really put any thought into it before, since it was rather common thing to do.
Many months back, I would not have had the courage to do so. Even if I was allowed to go out, crossing the street on my own without my husband’s presence was not allowed. The road crossing was unplanned. We were in a mall when I decided maybe we should go to the other side and have our lunch there.
As we stood among the crowds waiting for for the red light, my only focus were my boys – hold my hands, I repeatedly reminded them. We were all smiling as we hurriedly crossed the road when the green light came. Then it started – the emotional bit.
I related it to my husband- I never thought I would feel this this way about crossing a road. Feelings of joy and gratitude.
It was something to celebrate and remember for the rest of my life. Maybe there’s nothing special about crossing a road especially at a pedestrian crossing with a traffic light, but it was different for me. To me it is something I have to be thankful for… .that would explain the tears.
I was asked, why are you smiling but there are tears in your eyes?
Celebrate every little thing in life…
My nephew said yesterday, “sini asyik hujan hari-hari tapi tak pernah banjir (it is raining everyday here, but never has flooding)”. He actually wished for flooding to happen.
Though we laughed over it, I started thinking what flooding means to him. Is it the joy of seeing water everywhere so he could just stay indoors? Or was it the fact that he thinks he could play in the rising water just like swimming in the pool? Does he not think about the challenges during and after the flood to everyone? Does he know the kind of restrictions would be enforced on him if his house is affected?
I did not ask him further because of the expresssion on his face when he said that. He looked happy and innocent, the kind of look I adore in any small kids. I believe he was just curious. Somehow, he kind of got it when we told him that no one should wish for flooding to happen.
In fact, no one asks for bad things to happen. If it does happen we just have to brave ourselves and move on. Lots of prayers of course.
26th Dec. Photo after the rain@ 0630pm, note from my FB.
…with something sweet❤️
and fresh ideas…(or at least I thought so).
Photo : vanilla cup cake by the sea
When I needed a little distraction
I heated the oven and baked muffins
2 years into baking …and writing.
His eyes get watery
His nose turns pink
Aachoo! He sneezes
It’the dust, he says
I just need some fresh air, he continues
…. he does not want to worry me, i know for sure… he is my little boy.
Tears welled up his eyes
I could understand
The feelings he tried to hide
I offered him a hug
And he cried his heart out
Letting go what was buried inside
His mind, his heart are now cleared
And we are ready to move forward
*talking to my boy after the surgery
“Take your time
I will understand
I will never leave
Cause you are my paradise…
This song I composed
Is special for you ,this song is ours
So you know, I will always be there for you.”
*my son wrote this song for me 2 months ago after knowing that I’ll have to go for another surgery. He even sang it to me💖.A beautiful rendition from an 11-year old.
Pic : my painting on that special day