I challenged myself… Part 2.

How I started painting again.

After realizing that certain colours and lines are my weakness, I started painting differently. I use red and brown as the prime/starting colours and work around them. I do not pre draw, instead I straight away use those colours to paint whatever subject I intended to do. Then, I work around it and complete the painting. No pallette used or colour mixing prior to putting them onto paper. That way, I managed to finally adapt to the problem I am facing. If I were to use green and white or yellow, I will have to use a completely different approach. As much as I love blue, I rarely use that now. Perhaps I have to start experimenting with more blue after this.


Path & light

To learn is a life long commitment. You’ll never know/learn enough. The dark path that you thought had brought you down can lead you to the most beautiful things in your life. It is fascinating to see how dreams transform into reality and how much you can achieve in the most difficult times when you least expect them. Trust your instinct, put your heart and mind into it… and venture down that that path with hope and courage. That’s the beacon that will not lead you astray. Look hard and follow the light. That beacon’s light is always there but sometimes you are distracted by the scenery around you making you forget its call. Seek for the light… dare yourself to dream, and dream big. Trust me, you’ll get there…

Have I found mine? I dare not say…

Idayu Maarof, 29th July 2017

Author; The Doctor is Sick (2016)

I lost it!

Ideas popped into my mind

Quickly I grabbed a pen

Wanted to scribble them down

But before any words were written

They just disappeared

Leaving me feeling mad

Frustrated I threw my pen 

and went silent

Because, I lost it again!

*the feeling everytime I was struggling with words. And the reason why I did not update my blog for quite sometime. 

I want to share my story

I see patients
I treat their illnesses
I try my best
Ultimately I still need the Almighty
For complete healing
I talk to them
I pray for them
Make them believe
They will be healed
By His mercy; the Almighty

They came for help
They even came for hugs
The medicines were for the physical
And the hugs for emotional support
Yeah! I am proud of myself
For being there to help
Being a GP I learned a lot
My patients are my teachers
When they say thank you
When they smile at me
Make me wanted to do more

Now I am not what I used to be
Lots had happened to me
I have to say I am still in recovery
Which took longer than I expected to be
I learn many things as I walk this path
How my patients might have felt
The emotional rides they went through
The helpless feeling
The need for comfort
And someone telling everything will be alright
How a hug or a pat on the back made difference

This journey has changed me
Makes me a better doctor
A better person I should have been
I will one day share my story
The day will come… I promise
Cause those valuable experiences
Might help someone going through
The same journey
Which unexpectedly came to me


Pic : evening sky captured on my way back from work; yes! I am back at work

Cry as much…if you want.

Cry and don’t stop
Till you are done
Don’t hold anymore
Coz it will flood your heart
And overflow your eyes
Please cry baby (only this time)
Its time…I see tired in your eyes
You hurt so much that you only smiles
Holding onto the pain with laughters
They said you are the chosen one
Try tell them to be in your shoes once
Would they stay?…asked them that
Would they stumble on their very first step?
If they said you were pretending
Asked them again…willl you pretend to be in pain? What would you gain?
So baby…cry…as much…till you are done
I’ll be around to wipe your tears…as always
Don’t be ashamed; we are all the same
We could cry… laugh or smile
So baby…please let it go; I let you
Cry as much….until you are done
Then go back to your own self
The POSITIVE you….and your loved ones.


Photo : missing home and our little jannah