I challenged myself… Part 2.

How I started painting again.

After realizing that certain colours and lines are my weakness, I started painting differently. I use red and brown as the prime/starting colours and work around them. I do not pre draw, instead I straight away use those colours to paint whatever subject I intended to do. Then, I work around it and complete the painting. No pallette used or colour mixing prior to putting them onto paper. That way, I managed to finally adapt to the problem I am facing. If I were to use green and white or yellow, I will have to use a completely different approach. As much as I love blue, I rarely use that now. Perhaps I have to start experimenting with more blue after this.


An unexpected accolade

Life is…

‘The Doctor Is Sick’ received the 2017 National Book Award for the Best Professional Memoir.

Anugerah Buku Negara 2017

Kategori Buku Catatan Professional Terbaik.

First book & first award.

Kuala Lumpur; May 2nd, 2017.

MPH Online Store


Google Play


“So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?” –(Quran:Ar-Rahman)


“I am normal – after all,” she whispered. That made him smile.

He knew that she has been on an emotional rollercoaster since the surgery. It was a succesfull surgery but the recovery was not easy for her especially when her deficits were not visible to others. She tried very hard to keep it that way… but, had to admit she hurt herself more by doing so.

Dealing with loss – what does ‘normal’ means ?


Fiction. I wish I would

Not meant to be mine?

I never thought I’d be sad… losing something that I have never actually got to know (yet).


It has been wandering around for nearly 2 weeks in that building. I was planning to bring it home back then but, could not find it that day. I thought maybe someone had taken it home.

Then this morning it appeared on the stairs. We decided that maybe it’d best if we took it in. I managed to hold it for a while. Quick preparation was made to let it stay with us. Unfortunately we lost it again. I don’t know why… but, I got emotional.

The kitten is not even mine. It… never actually belonged to me.

Why am I sad? That, I am curious.

I fell in love the moment I heard about the poor little kitten. When I got a chance to hold it today, I got attached to it in that split second. I was sympathetic to see how fragile it was.

I wanted to have it… and make it family. It deserved a better place to stay… a better life. I wanted it to be loved, living life full of affection. I wanted to hold it longer…

I wish I will see it again; that beautiful yellow little kitten.

For now, I am happy to see what I have bought for it. My intention is good. I hope it knows… and will come back to me.

25092017. Feeling hopeful.

Be true to yourself


It takes lots of courage to say out loud what is in your heart. One day when you are tired of keeping quiet and accepting what is thrown to you. No matter how hurtful things are, you have to stand up for yourself. No one would. It does not matter anymore what others would say or think of you because at the end of the day they are not the one suffering. This is your life. You deserve to live your life your way.
Every action has consequences.
It comes with risks attached.
That is beyond our control.

But, Who do we fear the most?
Who do we want to please?
Who is the most deserving?

Perception won’t kill. Let them say anything they want. Yes, it hurts sometimes. That is the price you have to pay. It will teach you patience and gratitude. The challenge is there to strengthen you. You are not losing here. But being silent and keeping things to yourself for too long can cause you to slowly dying from the inside. It does. You may not realize.
Choice is yours, choose wisely.
Let go and move on.
Forgive and slowly forget.
Remember time will heals.
Believe in HIM. The Creator.
To Him we shall return. Please Him. Seek His guidance and His love. World is temporary so do what is right. Be true to yourself.

Photo : Friday morning sky; breakfast with my heroes

Her (his) life has always been like that


She gave in
She smiled
She talked
But, it didn’t last long
Coz those hurting words
She heard today
She could not ignore
She has had enough
But what choice does she has…
Other than to forgive
God knows what’s in her (his) heart
And how much she (he) is hurt
Maybe she should go back to her hiding again…and remain silent


Pic : morning sky


Hope patience and stength…and Me


I wanted to cry
But i cried enough of pain
I wanted to be healthy  
but healthy is not something money can buy
The rides are full of emotions and patience
Which i dont know i had enough already
Prayers…repentence…do I have to tell all
If I did will you believe still me?
Whom to blame my lifestyle, my genetics or my foods
Am I the bad influence to the kids i have
Where have things gone wrong?
Please i urged you to stop asking me why
I believe in God and the plan He has for me
He Guides me all the way
Never I questioned myself why
Of why these happening to me
Talk to me….please don’t ignore me
It hurts me more than the pain I had to endure
Lucky me I still have those believe in me
That I am never pretending.