Realization

“I am normal – after all,” she whispered. That made him smile.

He knew that she has been on an emotional rollercoaster since the surgery. It was a succesfull surgery but the recovery was not easy for her especially when her deficits were not visible to others. She tried very hard to keep it that way… but, had to admit she hurt herself more by doing so.

Dealing with loss – what does ‘normal’ means ?

————-

Fiction. I wish I would

Reflections of the heart

Listen to the echoes

& the whispers from within

You are not alone

I’ll keep you safe

If you live by the rules
 

Feel for the beating flesh

As it rushes and gushes

Far beyond imagination

Crossing every turn

Filling every space

To feed your soul

With the whispers & echoes

That say, listen and understand

You are racing against time

Do you live by the rules?
 

Just listen to the echoes

& the whispers from within

That is your guidance

Till the flesh stops beating

Till the gushes flow no more

The echoes come to an end

& the whispers go silent

Did you live by the rules ?

You will be asked again
 So, listen while you can

To the echoes & whispers from within

That tell you to embrace life

That tirelessly feed your soul

Before your time comes to an end

When you are alone

And no one can keep you safe

Unless you lived by the rules

As echoed by the beating flesh.

 

 

*embrace life*

Inspired by echocardiogram.

Written after my echo @ National Heart Centre (#IJN) on 05052017.

Vertigo, was it?


Photo : Langkawi October 2016

I saw grey,  was it my eyes? Was it the pain in my head?

My body felt so light like floating in the air, yet my head was heavy

My feet, they were wobbly I could not stay steady

I tried holding onto the wall, my hands they could not feel

I could not open my eyes, I started to see double

Did not know which one was real, I began to stumble

Was it only in my head? Or was it the pain in my head?

Everything moved really fast I could not catch up

I felt like throwing up, nothing came out

Was it the throb in my head? Or was it me that was really weak?

The grey then got darker, the doubles became worst

I fell into my deepest slumber, paralysed in the wildest forest

I lost to the pain in my head…

Was it vertigo? I would ask everytime.

Doctor’s smile

A sincere smile means a lot

When it comes after hard work

I know giving hope is not an easy job

It is pure deed coming from a golden heart

A million thanks I repeatedly said

Will never match the good that I have received

*Dedicated to my doctors, may they be granted the best in life.

Photo : first bake after my surgery.

In the waiting room

Numbers popping on the screen

And names called one after another

On their feet, on wheelchairs and walking sticks

They are patients waiting to be seen.

Here I am, sitting among them

Feeling great that my pain is gradually disappearing

And my life is slowly getting back in place.

I can only pray for every face that I see around me today

Be granted patience and strength

And the recovery they are after will eventually be theirs

*I am grateful to be here with these people, who know that giving up is never an option*

Today, Neurosurgery clinic; 830am #2months after.


One life…

“…. it was time to move on,

a time to appreciate all that life had given you and to strive towards health in the hopes that, one day, you too would be able to give back in whatever way you can.

You are given but one life. During your lifetime, there will be many chances and opportunities; it is these that need to be recognised for the blessings that they are, even if they come in the form of a disease, as unwelcome a gift as that may be.

Once that time comes, it will not be a period to dwell on the past, to ask, “Why me?”

Appreciate your family and friends, create the memories of a lifetime, and hope you would be able to return the kindness showered on you.”

– Idayu Maarof;  excerpt from The Doctor is Sick (2016)
http://www.mphonline.com/books/nsearchdetails.aspx?&pcode=9789674153779

#TheDoctorisSick  #book #greatjourney #greatpeople #heartsurgery #tumor

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