Is writing for me?

the rain comes, 
washing away the tears, 
the pain of yesteryears. 
bringing rainbows, 
of new hopes, 
paths to more dreams.

(1030am, it is raining outside and idea strikes)

Sometimes I wonder, if writing is really for me? I am not afraid of critics, I just have doubt of where this route would lead to. I like to put my thoughts into written words…sometimes, they do not make sense when they get written down. Many other times, they got so emotional that they just get lost before even reaching the paper. That does not discourage me from writing. Oftentimes, I would randomly scribble and share them without checking the grammar first. Because of my impatience, it has always been ‘write first and edit later’ so many posts go through without any checks. I took ‘edit later’ literally. When I realized how bad my writing was, I started to doubt myself again – is writing for me?… and the cycle of doubtful me continues. Is that what it takes to be a writer? I don’t know. Persistence and perseverance are the two elements that I try to nurture in myself…so I have more confidence.

Does a published writer need to be perfect at all times? Will I be judged for writing badly? At the beginning, my fear as a published writer was always the possibility that I would stop at only one book… I do not want that to happen. Ever since I started writing, I try to spend at least two hours everyday writing or reading. Of course the intention is to get a new manuscript completed so that I am not a one book author. Having said that, Harper Lee had published only one book for decades before a second one came along. But as I go on, I realized that writing is more than merely getting a book or books published. For me, the act of writing itself is very therapeutic and the therapy I get is perhaps the most rewarding part when I write. Being able to ‘voice out’ my ideas and express my feelings in words have helped me understand myself better. I had found the courage to say out loud what I think…..

Fiction or non-fiction writing? Both are about creativity and honesty, and so they have to be celebrated. As we have often heard, ‘don’t judge the book by it’s cover’… ; Perhaps we should not judge the writer by his/her ideas. They own their stories and the willingness to share them is something we need to respect. Writers will of course be judged by their prose, there is no escaping that. But the written word can be improved on by practice and experience. Whatever the reason may be, we can always learn from their stories. Good or bad, there is always room for improvement…

I have completed another manuscript by the way… I take writing really seriously!

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