I am not hiding
I am adapting
I am evolving
I am struggling
I never stop believing
Better, healthier
And stronger me each day
Whatever it is…
I am being me,
And home is my new office.

Photo : muddy beach near home @Pantai Remis; sunset.

Those early days


Dear brothers and sisters,
     Do you remember?
     Those early days
     We were always together
     We cared for each other
     We shared our tears and laughters
     Do you remember?
     After the passing of our mother
     We were jewels to our father
     To him nothing else matter
     Do you still remember?
     Help others, he always remind us
     We are not rich or famous
     But we must add value to others’ life
     Those were his advice
     Do you remember?
     Now and then
     Whenever I am feeling down
     He came to my mind
     So did the memories of those early days
     I hope you remember
     Let them be the inspirations for our future
Photo : this photo reminded me of our childhood years ago
(2010 – sunset at the beach; my sons and cousins)

Gift beyond expectation

It was not easy, if you would ask me
I did not know, no one told me
About the stress, the fear and the anxiety
And that the emotional recovery would took longer than I expected it to be

However, it was my pleasure to learn so much
I learned the meaning of true healing
About sincerity and unconditional love
I learned to look beyond the pain
I learned to let go of the unnecessary
I learned to hold on to what is important
I learned to choose what is good
I learned to disagree without guilt
I learned to stand up for myself
I learned to respect myself and every decision I made
I learned to keep going no matter how hard it would be

The recovery was indeed a soul searching moment
I got my second chance in life
To reclaim my life, to reclaim my heart
It was not about the heart beat
It was the syncronization of every breath
With thankfulness and gratitude
To still be able to wake up every day
To be given the opportunity to strive and be better each day
To be thankful for every single thing no matter how small
To understand that it wasn’t about pleasing another human being
To not be fear of people or what they would do or say

I was busy chasing my life for a while
That I did not see or I forgot to see
The straight path was always there
The light was also there to guide me
And they were patiently waiting to be explored… only I did not realize
Until that moment when I was knocked down
When I started to feel helpless and empty
I began to understand
The fall was actually a gift, a call
Which I have longed and waited for
To fill my life with

I did not know before
I did not realize
Forgive me for my ignorance

Photo : sun shining bright in the morning sky, i see hope


I quit, not giving up


This not the end
This is a new beginning
I quit but not giving up
The decision I made
Though it was hard
I see good in it
Not only to me
But everyone
So we can all live in peace
I am a fighter
Who eventually get exhausted
Fighting the endless battle
In the unseen war
I am not giving up
I am just starting again
In a different battle
In a different direction
With different legion

Photo : we took this same route everyday

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